what are people thinking?

3 04 2003

especially when they do things like tell me “oh, btw, i wanted to tell you now, rather than at your wedding–i am coming, by the way. but then in august i’m off to ft. knox for basic. u.s. army, baby. and, yes, i have my head on straight, and no, this isn’t a late april fool’s joke.”

i don’t quite know how to compute this information.
this insane statement is coming from a friend–not one i’m closest to in the world, by any means, not one proximate, one i hear from often enough to be able to predict this sort of madness… but not one i ever thought i might hear this kind of thing coming from. this friend despises authority. and is always getting in trouble for defying it. and hates when people act like sheep. and hates politics, and thinks he’s above human-politicky-sheepy things. more–and this is the part that really confuses me–this person cares about ME.

this isn’t supposed to be an egocentric question–it can be turned around the other way of course at any time–but wouldn’t you think that someone of whatever mental state it takes to put up with mine–eccentric extremist revulsion towards all things military and killing-related included–wouldn’t be the type to go and join the army in the middle of a war?

i’m just very confused.

and sad, because i think a) yes, he could actually really physically get himself killed, but b) even accepting the mindset of “yes, it’s okay with me if i have to kill somebody” i think has to be the death of so much of a person’s soul…

and i do rather like the fellow. love him, in fact, idiot that he is. i don’t want him dead, physically or in any soul-silencing sorts of ways. i want to sit by creeks again w/him someday and listen to his all-premises-sideways take on that whole theoretical “evil can’t cross water” thing… i want to sneak into another warehouse to tie-dye sheets. i want, someday, to at least have the chance to give back his comic-book collection, even if i don’t then take it (some of them i’m awfully fond of)… i want another mix tape that proves he remembers every song that’s ever come up, even by the most oblique of references, in conversation… i want another dark car-ride to woodstock with Aaric before anything else ever happened.

and yes this is a nostalgia trip, and no, i don’t ever want to grow up, but this is something else too. there’s growing up–i resist enough as is–and then there’s growing up THIS way. nobody should have to.

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6 responses

4 04 2003
bluemeg

He who tie-dyed my sheets is going in to the military? are we talking about the same he? that’s confusing/unexpected.

4 04 2003
rumhann

‘Morning dear,
Not sure if this is going to be any consolation or not . . . but I came to the knowledge a long time ago – that if it came down do it (despite how much I usually despise it), I can and will move someone along to another Wheel. I can go into more detail later if you want the theological justifications . . . but I need to get wet and head to work now.
Sympathies about your concern for his well being – I’ll shut up now and undress . . .
Blessings,
SM

4 04 2003
tyra

theoretical hmmmm?
pls. to explain when you’re not in a hurry to be out the door, wet-headed into a how-can-anybody-not-want-to-celebrate-living!??! sort of a spring morning! 🙂

15 04 2003
tyra

yo. naked man. you never answered me about your theories of the universe!

15 04 2003
rumhann

Iknow . . sorry . . . thought of that yesterday , but dealing with sickness and virus on network . . . will send you direct info, haven’t forgotten . . .

15 04 2003
tyra

*kiss*
no worries.
i just didn’t want you to think i was forgetting you either. i know you haven’t had any story updates in a while… primarily b/c i wrote a couple more pages, and they’re all wrong, and i’ve been too busy to do anything about that! 🙂
love ya!

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