letting go of the bar?

11 03 2005

it’s been a roller coaster lately. that much i’m sure has been evident. there’s a lot i haven’t been saying, at least to the people who haven’t been here in person to hear about it–and those of you who were are the best–i haven’t thanked you in big letters on lj yet, cheshirrrecat, but thank you!

there’s been a lot of departmental… stuff going on. new people coming to consider the program, to be wooed & wined+dined, some of whom i enjoyed hanging out with (but felt guilty as shit about, on account of the people who got bumped from consideration before the “come shmooze w/us” invitations even went out, & who i’d much rather have been entertaining), some of whom i could have done without. misunderstandings running rampant around here, because everybody’s too tense and the snow won’t stop falling, and compliments come out as criticisms, & questions as suspicions, & curiosity as accusation. it’s a tightly-wound group anyway, and it only takes a spark; we’ve had too many lately.

so the fact that spring break is here–even ‘though i have so much work to do over the few days i’m off, and even ‘though i’m spending half of it trying to take in more comp-stuff than i have brain space to hold at CCCCs (the “flagship” conference of the field)–makes one of those happy-screaming downhills. i have these things to look forward to: l_stboy and his motorcycle, trees with leaves on them, sunshine bounced off something other than blinding heaps of snow, new faces & people i haven’t seen for a while, conversations about anything other than the things i’m so tired of at the moment, a movie-night or two before i go… & of course worksheets and schedules to design for the classes i’m midway through teaching, & heaps of school books to summarize in the next 3 days, & another heap or two for reading on the plane…

here’s what’s already terrific, because we got our “come out for a beer on thursdays” crew together yesterday, & got more of them to do so than we’d ever had in one place at one time: collin came down, & robotapocalypse finally joined us, & even maddy came out, & carolyn appeared, & chris & dianna & dave were there cuz they’re good & always come to play with us, & jer dragged ina down & ina brought matt… so there was much tomfoolery, & a little bad pool-playing–although i’ve noticed that my designated bad-pool-playing compatriot/adversary has been getting a lot better without me–& a subtitled [starship engine noises], soundless episode iii trailer (i swear the first time he’s onscreen anakin totally looks like the highlander) [mechanical breathing] with lots of lava & lightsabers, & a plethora of cookies, & a little bit of miniature-catapult onion-flinging, & some really disgusting [mechanical breathing] commentary connecting scabs & pizza, & some schizophrenic team-swapping, & a few camera-phone shenanigans, & a plastic picket-line sawhorse battle on the [mechanical breathing] echo-deck…

& then to roll me safe back into the starting gate, rbk pinged me on aim last night, which itself wouldn’t have been such an event perhaps, had i not found out via a mass e-mail yesterday morning that he’s in kuwait–he promised he’d call before shipping out, damnitt!–and had the picket-lines not been about wars & ex-marines with tragic tales to tell, and had the whole thing not been freaking the hell out of me all day… he’s not safe himself for long, of course; they’ve only just begun. but he was real, & optimistic, & still discernably grounded in things that matter, in ideas that transcend all of this, & still the cocky magician i needed him to be for me before he goes through with this temporary & potentially irevokable vanishing… and he spent his 10 minute turn on the machine with me.

this doesn’t, of course, scratch the surface, but anybody who asks me whether it’s an island or a core sample or whatever the fuck else those choices were so gets a faye-sized bruise on his/her skinny little marten arm. (the first panel of that strip makes the visual point; the rest is a read-at-your-own-risk. if you’re not a QC fan already, & get sucked in, & don’t have time for that… don’t blame me!)

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3 responses

11 03 2005
cheshirrrecat

anytime, love, but next time, it needs to be for longer! 🙂
and thank YOU for being such a Beautiful, Wonderful and Happy part of MY Life! 🙂

12 03 2005
bluemeg

*hugs*
enjoy your break! or at least some it.

13 03 2005
burny_md

So I read “read-at-your-own-risk” and immediately had to go see what it was. 😉
Didn’t really get a lot of it at first, but you have to go back about 4-5 comics to really understand it. It was apparently a building thing. 🙂
*hugs* This post actually sounds better than some in the past, so hopefully this is a good sign, and things are getting better. Or maybe you’re just relieved its break and you’re running away. 🙂 Either way… love ya. 😉

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