scattered sunday (no bunnies here)

27 03 2005

“tell those you love that you do” does not mean it’s advisable to go gushing all over people.  gushing makes people–especially skittish boys, but lots of other people too–nervous.  nervous people get grumpy, and are not fun to be with.  they also tend to sidle away from you when they think you aren’t looking.  in addition, gushing arouses suspicion–when you gush at anybody in particular, the people at whom you are not gushing (even if they’re the nervous type and wouldn’t like it if you did it anyway) want to know why you’re gushing at somebody else instead of them.

gushing is for grandmothers.  next step: live long enough to be a grandmother, so as to earn the right to gush with impunity.  important intermediary step: have at least one kid first, or else that whole grandmother thing isn’t going to be exactly possible.

(i’m not quite sure what to do with the fine line between geniune enthusiasm–which is what i’m often thinking i’m exhibiting–and gushing–which is what gets read, since i’m really bad at finding the damn thing.  look closer, i suppose, or just endeavor to be a little less enthusiastic?)

other things i’ve learned today:
1) it’s good to live in a city because deer won’t eat your tulips.
2) if you wear underpants with glitter on them, you’ll shed glitter, & it will fall down your pants legs and leave trails all over your house.
3) the dog only wants the squishy, wet, slobbery tennis ball that’s bounced into the garage & gotten lost, not any of the perfectly fine dusty ones lying accessible in the yard.
4) situated cognition is not the only kind; robotic intelligences are nonsituated.  this is why they can win at chess but lose at tag.

and i am aware now
how everything’s going to be fine…
one day, too late, just as well




8 responses

28 03 2005

I wouldn’t mind if you were all gushing to me…just for the record. 😉 And I’d tease you mercessly if you were gushing to someone else, but wouldn’t REALLY be upset. 😀
Happy Easter. 🙂

28 03 2005

::squish, squish!::

29 03 2005

Yay! I expect those in person later. 😉

28 03 2005

the flipside: if you feel it, show it. love love love. if loving means gushing, then gush. i’m either suspicious of or feel sorry for people who have issues with other people showing them love.
and I laughed quite loudly (keep in mind, i’m in a quite, grey office building) at your glitter underwear observation 😉

28 03 2005

I hope the glitter is only on the outside….

28 03 2005

i hope so too! these weren’t actually my underwear–i was just passing along information that was passed along to me–so i’ll have to assume that both the manufacturer and the purchaser/wearer thought of that. if it is just on the outside, though, it’s a whole new idea for how to go through life spreading inexplicable pixie-dust in one’s wake!

28 03 2005

Gushing feels exclusionary… Gushing makes 3rd person observers feel like they are intruding… Gushing makes the recipient feel expected to recipricate.
Non-gushing expression is typically not noticed by 3rd person observers… Non-gusing expression makes the recipient feel the desire to say “Thank you” and often give you a hug… Non-gushing expression doesn’t make the recipient’s S.O. uncomfortable.
Sadly enough, none of these observations leads to any rules of thumb about any individual act of expression.
Oh, and I agree with burny_md. I don’t mind your gushing at all (even if I HAVE had some unpleasant fall-out to deal with on occasion). 😛

28 03 2005

a, b, & c, i know, logically, & hence the reminder, as chastisement for myself for acting as if i didn’t. although i’m much heartened by lisa’s affirmation, even if i know your response is more practical.
re d, on the other hand, thanks to you and tim, and double-thanks to you b/c it doesn’t cost him anything, & i know with you it has. & might again, although i’ll try, i really will. 🙂

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