soon i will come back to you, my pretties

16 11 2008

tonight i am resisting the temptation to do something really stupid that facebook thinks i oughta do, even though also thinks i oughta. he says “digital hornets’ nests are fun to kick!” i think i’m best off with a minimum of hornets, no matter what their degree of metaphoricity.

but it has been a good day: i got much class planning done, so much that i only have a few things left to plan/write this semester–and one more day to do it in, before the steady-till-the-end wave of new papers washes over me. i know you’re all tired of hearing me talk about the papers. i’m sorry for talking so much about the papers (my mom called me a whiner yesterday, and my mom is the queen of whiners, so if she notices, my pain-in-the-buttness must be climbing right on up there in royalty). i’m not looking for pity, when i talk about it, i swear–i really do love what i do. i just want everybody whom i’ve completely abandoned this semester to know why they never hear from me–that it’s not a lack of love, it’s just that this semester is really, honestly, for all that i want to be too tough to admit it, kicking my ass. i’ve been half sick for a month now because i don’t get enough solid rest to kick the sniffles and the dears just keep bringing me new germs, i’m in craptastic shape because the walking i used to do every day to get everywhere has turned into one fused cycle of commuting, teaching, grading, and catatonic sleep states, supplemented by too much coffee and whatever food the roommates buy because i can’t make time to shop, i’m running out of applicable work-appropriate clothes as the weather gets colder, but i certainly can’t make time to shop for clothes, i have really bad hair, i still hardly know anybody but students at my job, & i’ve started having trouble remembering who the heck i actually am, because i can’t slow down to look; i never know what’s going to come out of my mouth when people talk to me, because i’m so far away from centered, so i tend not to talk to much of anybody–which is probably good for the getting-grading-done, but atrophies my heart a bit. but this! this was a good day. (and no, facebook doesn’t do a damn thing to mend the atrophy. usually i don’t go there at all, but i got special-super-rare friended this weekend, and so i’m a little like the cat who keeps wandering into the kitchen to see if the treats on the floor have regenerated yet.)

other things that have made this day good: french-vanilla yogurt, a little photo-updating with the morning coffee pre-working (they’re on picasa via the photographic evidence link at the top of my page), somewhat-nervous babysat cat purring when i pet him, productive-social work-grouping with the girls at panera, veggie-licious squash soup & other dinner treats with even more girls where one little mystery was dragged not-unwillingly into the light & where i got to make a fire, house-plastic winterizing with paul, which is way faster with a co-plasticker, even one who likes to play joanna newsom around the house, especially one who likes to sing over joanna newsom so that i can hear her cool songwriting, which i like, in a voice that doesn’t twitch me out and drive me kinda batshit (his is good), and now it’s time to yawn my way to sleep so i can get up and get back to the students and papers and forecast-snowy highway (oh my) in the morning.

parting sensory detail of a good day: my hands smell like wood ash.

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