and another one down

26 04 2009

choose your enemies carefully, for they will define you
make them interesting, ’cause in some ways they will mind you
not at the beginning, but when your story ends
[they’re] gonna last with you longer than your friends

they’re mine, anyway; they always have been. there’s nobody to blame but the same culprit as every other gorram time. sweet-baby-j says everything is going to be okay, but it’s comfort and not prescience we call him for, and i don’t think he can drawl me out of this one (either, any more than all the rest). i have begun to wonder how long it can really take one person to learn that doing anything will eventually equate to doing more harm than good, so long as that person’s the one doing the doing, but the new math answer is too simple to even warrant a good wonder: too long. too damn long already, and too many messes made along the way. o self-loathing, if you would just learn to speak up before i get close enough to people to fucker-up the in-between; if you would just shut me down sooner, i’d do so much less damage, and leave so much less disappointment and well-earned anger in my wake.

at the point of reckoning there’s a new math in play,
all subtraction, all the minutes taken from the length-of-days,
no matter the bright pennies that we thought would weigh like gems
we find we’re nothing but the sums of our sins.




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