Purely

30 07 2015

Above all things, my fierce, ferocious girl, I wish you this. Careers have their place, and talents, families, hobbies, houses, arts, geographies and monies,contentment, self-awareness, appreciation and gratitude. Getting any of those right is a boon, many is a path to goodness, but the right friend, the right heart to hold the hand inside of, can weather you through storms in any other category. It’s statistically unlikely to be always true: it’s a lucky soul who knows this dance even once in a lifetime, rare to have a few chances, truly exceptional to have someone always there at hand. Since I’m your mother, though, I have the right to wish you an experience as exceptional as you are to me.  

  
So I wish for you exactly this, and all of the analogous or metaphoric, approximate or similarly worthy, nothing-like-but-still-evocative variations on this theme that one life can contain (as it might look a little different when you’re not a toddler… Or perhaps it won’t!): a best friend whom you only agree to put clothes on at all in order to dress like, whom you can snuggle, fight with, and snuggle some more, who can play an hour or a day away merrily by your side, at quiet games or loud, at the table or out in the yard, with oversight or without, whom you can share sides of a board game with and take turns speaking for your team-of-two, who insists you follow him (sex/gender negotiable, of course) into the bathroom to keep chatting while business occurs, who indulges all of your favourite fandoms, but also makes a point of introducing you to his own, who stands his ground when you push too far, and who accepts as due course you standing your own in turn.  It’s a kind of magic you’ve got here, kid, and I hope you’re paying attention. If it doesn’t last forever with Nathan, if families and careers and monies change all our geographies and get in your way, or if you two just change, like kids often do, into people who don’t fit as puzzle-piece closely anymore later as you do when you’re two, at least you’ll know what to strive for, what this goodness feels like; at least you’ll have a blueprint to build from, a map to find your way back. 

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