ok, i’m better now. on the other end of a long-lost e-mail and a mis-typed phone number and a few months of utter incognito-ness, i have, in fact, made contact with rbk.
and yes, i do hate that he’s in the army, even if that makes me an intolerant, bad human being on one level or another. and it makes me a little sad to know that this big, brave, important next-step in his life has mostly involved standing around bored off his skull and drinking too much. but:
we talked for an hour or two, and he managed w/o working too hard to convince me that he’s not miserable, and isn’t only bored, and has made some good friends out there. he’s learning things about himself and his aptitudes/abilities/preferences that should serve him later. he’s getting some opportunities that he might not have had otherwise. he’s keeping himself entertained, and staying upbeat, and so far hasn’t gotten anywhere near to getting himself killed (which i’m crossing my fingers and hoping will always be true, although i know there’s a very large chance i’m completely deluding myself about that). and, really, he sounds good. happy. clear-headed. logical. not nearly as self-deluding as a) he used to and b) i’d have guessed he’d have to be to be where he is. he’s pleased with his choice, not in love with what he’s doing, hopeful about the future, impressed with some of the choices he’ll get to make along the way, and still mostly a little boy, which i’m not sure how has happened, but i’m really glad about, and hope (despite those really big chances) he miraculously keeps right on not losing along the way.
anybody wants his #, let me know. he asked after you, pix, and i assured him you were doing very well indeed.
that rare, random descent 
Well, I’m just glad that he’s had a more typical and tollerable experience than I did.
Even I have to say this much in support of him now that he is there. Even though I can’t even begin to describe how aweful those 4 years were for me, the lessons WERE extremely valuable, still serving me well today and are things that I would likely have never learned elsewhere – especially not that young or that fast.
Now let’s all just pray that he leaves before it taints him, because eventually it will – many people kind of skim along the top of the taint without actually touching it for a long time, but eventually you slip and once you touch it, it gets harder and harder to avoid.
if you’re trying to be encouraging, i’m not entirely sure you’re succeeding. especially since i truly believe that in some ways, what the boy’s after is being tainted. >sigh<
but i always think i know too much about these things. what i hope is that he’s exactly right about what it has to offer him, that he gets to risk too-valuable things, like he wants to, and that somehow even so nobody takes them from him and he comes out stronger. we shall see.
You know him better than I. But the way I know him, I cannot imagine that he wants the taint that I am talking about. I can imagine/see some of the things that he would be looking for and that isn’t what I am talking about.
Re: mhm.
see, that would be the “tragic flaw” part. of COURSE he’s not looking for what you’re talking about–nobody ever is. which doesn’t mean he won’t get it in the process of looking for the version he thinks he’s talking about.
(we’re really good at making a lot of sense without actually SAYING much of anything, aren’t we?)
Thank you 🙂